HOW THIS CAME TO BE

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Hello world! Welcome to the space where I transmit the subjects closest to my heart. I spent a long time searching for purpose, partly consciously but mostly unconsciously. From an early age I picked up on the truth that hurt people hurt people. I began to understand that all strife in the world comes from someones deep pain. While I had this awareness, I wasn’t sure what I could do about it, so I went about my life experiencing and going in whatever direction I felt like.

While this journey of soul-wandering had it’s place and I value it highly, it ultimately led me to a place of deep dissatisfaction with my value in the world. Unsure where to start, I joined a men’s group. This weekly in-person circle was a pivotal experience for me. I learned the value in first and foremost knowing myself (the egoistic “I” relationship we all have), the value in healthy relating to other human beings, and very critically the relationship I had with the world at large. Thus began my desire to understand and spread awareness on the important of the healthy “Relationship Triad” (to Self, Others, and World).

My connection to the important of embodiment came when I discovered the teachings of David Deida, and his student (now teacher) John Wineland. Through their teachings I began to realize how fundamentally important it is to live an embodied life. I became aware that the body is the only “real” medium that we have in our lives, and through it we experience everything. The mind is a part of the body, and through the body and mind come the connection to ones spirit. My spirit, the final piece of the triad of a fully embodied existence, arose from it’s slumber during the final moments of a Men’s Embodiment intensive I participated in during April 2018. After days of shedding layers of in-authenticity, showing up and holding the ground for myself and other men, connecting to the deep unchanging part within myself, and expanding my presence to encompass all of known existence, I had what I consider to be my first real spiritual awakening.

In the final moments of a Iron Shirt Qi Gong practice, I was prompted by my teacher to visualize my purpose. With my legs shaking, my body pushed to it’s absolute limit, and my heart split as wide as it could go, a vision came to me. Blinding light in my minds eye began to take form as a physical room, with a single door. I opened the door, entered, and sat down. I waited an unknown amount of time, until a person came in through the door. Their presence felt like a man, but had a universal fluidity to it that could have been applied to any gender. This being sat down, and we began to talk. After this, we embraced, and felt our hearts more open and full of love than before. The being left, and the room dissolved.

Coming out of this rather psychedelic vision, and grounding back to three-dimensional reality, I felt a concrete aggregation of my deepest heart desire, my long term purpose – karmic purpose – came to rest in my being. I had to connect with humans and transmit love through myself with the sole intention of opening both our hearts to greater capacity.

Having this vision, I meditated on how I could actually go about gifting this to the world. The answer came to me in teaching what I know and believe as offerings to assist others in the triad of relationship, cultivation of the spirit, and physical embodiment of these understandings into real practice usable throughout life.

Thus began this journey, and the rest is history. So here I am, giving my gift and being free to create more love in the way I feel is right for me. Thank you for being here and participating!

Felix

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